At the day of this post marks 7 months since I was released from prison. I am truly grateful for being out. I just talked to a friend in prison recently through a video call, and it was great to see his face again. He gets out in 5 months. We were limited to 30 minutes for the call and the call costed almost 6 USD. It reminded me that I really have it great out here, as I'm not being tracked or charged based on how long I text or write someone. I can call or video chat all day if I have the time to, really. I mean, not everyday is a walk in the park or easy, but I do have some awesome times and every time I wake up and I'm not in a cell is a victory in itself...

I accomplished a lot recently. I finished my first semester back in school, and got all A's in my classes. I went to school at only 4 months out of prison, and I was able to do it. I don't think the academic side of it was the difficult part. Some of the things I really struggled with through this academic journey were at first the fear and insecurities (not believing I was good enough), then the superiority or the boredom that ensued (from not learning enough or at the fast pace at which I thought I could handle), and eventually there came the annoyance with the bureaucratic and gatekeeper-esque nature of the system of higher education.

Life isn't always going to be great. Life is full of everything, and we have to take the good with the bad. I have to remind myself that a lot. Today [5/25] I got to read the JFT [ link here ] and it spoke the words I needed to hear for awhile. It also inspired a lot of thoughts and wisdom, that have been brewing for awhile. While there are resentments and other negativities brewing in my head, I forget I can find a lot of the great thoughts and ideas I have. Negativity screams harshly and positivity cries softly. I think there is a point where we "know" something and then the other point where we "learn" something. Taking it even further, there is another even more important point and that is the point where we "apply" something.

I'm going to emphasize this more and more, that if you feel like you are suffering or struggling with an addiction or repetitive patterns... Get Help! Reach out! For a long time, I always felt like I was running and I wanted to change, but I couldn't. It was not until I got to prison that I found out that I lived in a prison for my whole life, of my own making. With this post, I try my best to focus on post-incarceration and its struggles, as well as not forgetting where we came from and what we learned in there. Talking about APPLICATION of knowledge above is important, because in post-incarcertation we are at that point to where we need to remember everything we KNOW and LEARNED and APPLY this to our current situation. To all my brothers and sisters out there, that are struggling with post-incarceration, if you are reading this: you can do this. Whatever you are going through.